daylightfading

Brenna

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aaron: one final reflection. by daylightfading, literature

Literature

aaron: one final reflection.

I you tell me you love me and i'm shocked. the quiet one? across from me in 3rd period? really? charming. flattering. really... bizarre. (funny how things happen.) II december twenty-seventh two thousand and four:

aaron 3 by daylightfading, literature

Literature

aaron 3

And if it should be then it will be And if it was then it would be And it's not And you're there. I'm here. Breaking and breaking and Smoking Crying Sitting In the snow. Smoking Like you never Let me. When I was yours. And Maybe I've always been Breaking But always hiding it So NOW Its real. This is Love (cruel) and Conor play me your chords cry drink cry drink feel bleed all

aaron 2 by daylightfading, literature

Literature

aaron 2

This is to the one That knows my demons. The little soldier in cognito Toilets, scales, calories Face to face Fought them all away And sang me back to sleep. And love. This is to love. On its most innocent day. We stop to get something to drink, My mind clouds and I can't think Scared to death to say I love her Love. Before I slipped So violently away Into guilt -betrayal Before I fell apart -broken And oh God I love you, I mean forever. This is to ten long months -Sharing breaths -Sharing air -Sharing life -Sharing love -Sharing beds Sleeping so close And "sweet dreams, I love you…" And during those December nig

sweet child be free by daylightfading, literature

Literature

sweet child be free

love dies, as love often does. and weaklings scurry whimping tails between knees. and here we are like children forcing puzzle pieces together until they fold. bend break. we know they don't quite fit but but shouldn't they? this is panic. this is fucking desperation. we hide in our distractions. we sip our soup and we eat our bread and we say our prayers and we get belligerant. and lingering at these crossroads feels like a black tie affair scrambling to select the perfect words to make things right to make things work to make each other feel better. to make outselves feel better. give up. they

porcelain princess by daylightfading, literature

soul in orbit by daylightfading, literature

Literature

soul in orbit

"Sprinkled in stardust" …? excuse me? …that's Love? if you want to smother me with your over-the-top exhausted cliches of: -skin like moonbeams -touch of heaven -eyes like starlight [and insert in every piss-pretty whip of celestial, metaphorical off-the-wall buttered-up flash-trash nonsense] …save your flattery. i don't want to hear you voice. don't show me glimmers of liquid-sparkle fractions in a pretty boy's eyes. (and don't, under any circumstances, compare them to a star.) ins

to my mommy by daylightfading, literature

Literature

to my mommy

Seventeen years, Mommy And if I learned anything you taught me, it's to Holdon until my knuckles turned red To the things that make me whole Until it goes smash Crash And suddenly... it's gone And i'm taken back to winter Three years old A pink nose and sparkly eyes and you Laid me down in the soft blanket of white, Pristine as my childish wonder, And showed me how to Move my arms Then legs in nuison And you called me Angel of the Snow And we retired from our wonderland Hand in hand. Daddy built a fire and we Stared at the dancing sparks as they Sang out to us And drip by drip The snow melted as my dreams of the day Eva

of sweat and butterflies by daylightfading, literature

Literature

of sweat and butterflies

I said I'd write you a poem Maybe tear out a bit of the love for you planted in my garden Grip hard to the roots (for of course – it grows still) and Give it a yank, you see And stream it across these vague blue lines so I could write with a stronger touch of accuracy, of course. Honesty.. Like I could, Maybe, Collect the sweat you draw from my pores Store it in my pen and shake well, naturally Glide it like ink and let it draw a picture An exact replica if you will Of each sweet breath massaging my lungs as your fingertips trace my seams, Each stitched up patch of my flawed white flesh the bone in my hip, the small of m

+++9:30 a.m. ramblings+++ by daylightfading, literature

Literature

+++9:30 a.m. ramblings+++

9:30 a.m. on a thursday once again i find myself clutching my notebook with thoughts of you mr. mystery, mr. shadowman mr. come-over-me-and-set-me-on-fire charming smiles and frequent "hello"s hiding the dimensions and depths of old pain who are you? where do you go at night? i'm lit up with the coldest visions chilled cement floors and a bare-walled apartment sip a beer and watch life float violently away well slip me one of those TV dinners slip me some of those secret dreams sad eyes, what do you hide? ten thousand tiny holes scattered throughout your life i want to look through to the other side so come a little closer -

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Step Inside Me by daylightfading, literature

Literature

Step Inside Me

Step inside me Look around Claim this broken Heart you've found From a nightmare The prettiest dream So beautiful I want to scream So evil that You make me cry Then smile and lick My lashes dry Cradle my body Keep me warm Throw me out Into the storm The perfect drug You're all I need Addicted to the way You make me bleed So used to this Morbid lust The only constant It's all I trust Step inside me Look around Shatter this broken Heart you've found

Tears Fall Softly by daylightfading, literature

Literature

Tears Fall Softly

Tears fall softly, drowning me Heart breaks slowly, painfully Turn my back as the last petal falls, Memories haunting within these walls Demons choking, crushing me Panic grips my sanity Telling myself lonely lies Yearning for truth, closing my eyes Shooting stars are burning out, Forever faith replaced by doubt Dirty mirror, am I blind? Nothing to lose, nothing left to find Salty pillow, worse every day All little hope slipping away Searching for a light so deperately As tears fall softly, killing me.

Broken by daylightfading, literature

Literature

Broken

I cry here broken, on my knees My heart is open; hear my pleas A sea of faces taunting me For believing what I cannot see. Your strive to lead me in Your light, But still I falter, and I lose sight. I have to cover the path I leave For those around me don't believe. My battle fought is all alone - Me against the life I've known. Desperate and dying, I pour out my soul Your grace is all that can fill this hole. Lord, my life is cutting thin Forgetting all I believe in Give me faith, and eyes to see Remind me what You've done for me Take this heart I've soaked in sin Count the tears I'm drowning in And wash away the crimson st

Darkness, Darkness +changed+ by daylightfading, literature

Literature

Darkness, Darkness +changed+

Dark black eyes Suck me in Swallow me whole And slowly begin Soothing, soothing Invade my soul Break me, crush me, Take control Deep and swirling, Hypnotize My skin caves in, My spirit cries Gentle, gentle, I am numb Embrace the darkness That I've become. Slow release, Set me free From the very last shreds Of my sanity. The purest pure You expose Beauty, beauty The blackest rose Turn out the lights Turn your back Set it on fire Paint it black Give into madness, Most beautiful sin Surrender, surrender Breathe it in...

ocean calls by daylightfading, literature

Literature

ocean calls

Dancing, dancing, around my bed, Demons invade my sleep Swirling nightmares sing their songs And under my covers, I weep Standing up and out the door I do not hesitate The steepest cliff is calling my name, I know I've made it wait. Approach the edge, anxiety I silently close my eyes The crushing waves consume my soul, Drowning out my cries. All at once, I take a step And let go of my fears To be washed away in a world of waves, To taste salt without the tears Falling.. falling… It cuts me like a razorblade, I instantly turn numb Trying to stay above the surface Of what my world's become And now, I look around me The sha

To Escape by daylightfading, literature

Literature

To Escape

Crimson stains and razorblades I'm all torn up inside A love affair with faded roses, Memories I can't give up Where did I go so wrong? Sunny days, my childhood A pretty smile Torn apart and dissipated A heart ripped out by age Every day, I pack my bags Ready to be lifted up, Ripped away from this hell I welcome it Death… come and set me free Dizzy as my head is spinning So much to run away from, But nowhere to go When finally I gather the courage To open my eyes, to face the world I find sight blurred, Soft words slurred Tears streaming down my cheeks… Today, I surrender.

fading away with winter by daylightfading, literature

torture by daylightfading, literature

Literature

torture

Obsessed with pain And tortured by love, I take one last breath. One more day unnoticed, And I'll disappear forever Every day, I'm sinking deeper Choking on the same stale tears You will be the death of me If you're not already. You smile your smile And clumsily, I stumble Try to hide imperfections But you know I'm just a fool Your beauty tastes like poison Laced with razorblades Shards of glass caress my skin Shattered dreams, desperate cries Crimson trickles from my eyes My wounds paint a picture Spill my blood and connect the dots My knees are skinned from begging My throat is raw from crying Look into my eyes And br

My Cry For Help by daylightfading, literature

Literature

My Cry For Help

I'd kill for you to breathe for me Take me in your arms Take me to the stars Set my heart on fire, Melt the shards of ice Wrap the wounds I've caused myself Steal my needles, hide my knives This is my cry for help I'm broken, broken, from all the pain Drowning in tears, Choking on blood Watch me as I claw myself Fingernails deep in porcelain skin My flesh is crawling I feel diseased You reach to wipe away my tear And watch my face As it crumbles Dust to dust, Sealed with a tear, Into the palm of your hand.

Seeking Salvation In Ink and by daylightfading, literature

Literature

Seeking Salvation In Ink and

I'm desperate to show you, And this is my last resort... Pull down the paintbox Bright pastels, deep oils Slash up a paper with my brush- Make you understand If I stand beside a mirror And paint my own reflection Will you finally see into me? Spilling colors on concrete Black eyes, bleeding hear Shove it in your face, Pry open your eyes with bleeding fingers Pouring ink onto paper My pencil, frantic, Explain every emotion While I choke back tears Blunt and honest - FEEL MY PAIN Read it in my words See it in my strokes I'll write you a thousand songs To make you understand I'll paint you a Picasso And I'll seal it with a

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xcutiexprincessx69 by cool4dude, literature

Literature

xcutiexprincessx69

I waited a half an hour to see if you'd get online and now that you are I'm waiting 5 minutes to greet you so I don't seem clingy or desperate. Then you ask about my day followed by a sideways smiley face colon: parenthesis) And I make up something about a 2 mile walk- when in reality all I did was watch back to back episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space 9. Then I sit back and wait because you seem to be typing an awful lot, but in 5 minutes when I receive the message it's just the letters "L O L" A secret code that means you have nothing interesting to say, and neither do I but comfortable silence doesn't exist on the Internet. So I

real by jesstasy18247, literature

Literature

real

i swear to God that i love mine as much as you love yours and that if i could find the words to say it, i would. if i could find the perfect words, if i could just close my eyes and instead of thinking i love him i love him i love him think of something poetic and real and un-cliché, just for a second, i would. but i am-he is-we are poetic, real, un-cliché and i know it with all of me and i know he knows it too and i know that i don't need to write poems about him because he already knows, he

Lilith makes me wonder by athenaRules, literature

Literature

Lilith makes me wonder

What if Adam just plain lied And Eve with apple juice Running down her chin Just let it slide Is the whole story a hoax A different mother than Mary No father Son Holy Ghost Was Lilith really all that bad She just wanted to be free The desert is hard on Mustangs And her man was not handy Was Mary really a virgin did Joseph just herd the sheep Did Mary feel passion desire her body eternally saved

Love Poem by WhoKilledKirov, literature

Literature

Love Poem

.. last night I made a man out of pillows and forgotten fragments of clothes we'd pushed into my drawers. I held my pillow-man's hand and made sure he wasn't too warm because it is summer; I'm on the second floor; and that was always your biggest complaint. this morning I tried to shower but would turn off the water and run like a soapy dog, complete with loyal tail wagging, to the door thinking you'd come knocking. You hadn't. tomorrow will taste like the food of a week ago and I'll wear sunglasses, which, if you know me, (and you do) will seem out of context and like a little girl playing dress up. I know there are

Allegory of a Utopian Suicide by BuddahBum, literature

Literature

Allegory of a Utopian Suicide

Contained within the boundaries of a small world, within the spherical walls of an astronomical dome, there exists a single female, amongst a small civilization, of immense intelligence, beauty, and innocence. Lola-Francesca's facial features and physique were comparable to that of a model yet more closely related to that of an exotic dream of Sicily; incidently Lola-Francesca was unknowingly of Sicilian decent. The world in which she lived was purely a ficticious set about false perfection. Within the walls of the dome everyone lived in harmony; the cars had no locks, the doors had no locks, bikes were rested along sto

Life Like a Cigarette by BuddahBum, literature

Literature

Life Like a Cigarette

Burning to live and burning to feel and burning to give to others The cigarette exists for that singular moment of twice infinity to be pursed between it's lovers lips... Waiting for a lover of complete compatibility and burning into the lungs of lovers only met for the formality of it all You must burn for false lovers before the true lover is found yes? So I live my life bereft of unconditional attachment waiting to be inhaled by the kiss of MY true lover who will recognize that I have been burning through life for that one infinite moment...

Drunk by GayAssSmurf69, literature

Literature

Drunk

That stupid fool is drunk again, He had to much beer and vodka. He keeps making me laugh. He falls on the floor, And I laugh harder. He stands up and wables over to the bed. He lays down next to me. I tell him he smells, So he sniffs his armpit, And says, "Minty fresh!" I laugh again. He bends in to kiss me, And I pull away. "Not while your drunk!" He lays back down, And stares into my eyes, Until he falls asleep peacefully, In my arms.

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ID by daylightfading, visual art

daylightfading

About daylightfading

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United States
Deviant for 20 years
www.myspace.com/missbrenna
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daylightfading

Jan 18, 2007

Dear DA,

0 min read

well. a return to DA has done me well. adam, you're amazing, i missed you so much, it's fantastic to have you back in my life. i love you dearly. thank you : ] i'm moving out of my apartment in a couple weeks. and at the end of march i'm moving back to ellensburg to go back to college. i have written two poems in the last week and a half or so since my last journal entry, which is quite an improvement after going a year without writing anything at all. i wrote (and submitted) yet another poem about aaron today, the last one. the very last. the last of about a hundred. well anyway, this one was different. every wor

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daylightfading

Jan 4, 2007

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

 i can't lie, i forgot all about DA. until i woke up at 3 am desperately missing an old friend and i new i had to contact him. adam, i miss you. anyway. welp. what is new. love died, as love does. so close to two years... oh well. as said. love dies. i haven't written a poetic phrase in a year. i am awfully jaded. my insides have nothing to give you. i went to CWU and made it three months before i ODed on painkillers and ended up getting my stomach pumped and drinking ipikak in the ER until there was nothing left inside me but a few tubes and organs. Needless to say, i moved back home. from there i went through cosmetology sc

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daylightfading

Aug 29, 2005

hi.

0 min read

so i havent written one of these fuckers in a really long time. hmmm. things are amazing. things with my amazing boyfriend are absolutely perfect .. our one-year is sneaking up on me : ] i'm moving to college in two weeks, only 2 hours away but still.... i really don't mind leaving anyone but my boyfriend. i actually am excited to leave my friends. i know that's horrible. but like that song -- "i've lived in this place, and i know all the faces.  each one is different, but they're always the same. they mean me no harm, but it's time that i face it -- they'll never allow me to change."  yeah. i need to grow. and as long as i stay here, i'l